If you don’t know what ADHD is, here is the criteria for diagnosis from the DSM5 (Diagnostic Statistical Manual).
Living with Adult ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) isn’t easy. You may have lived with it all your life and have found, what you consider to be, all the best ways to cope. Like having 10 million sticky notes plastered across your life with reminders of all the things you would otherwise forget. Alarms, accountability buddies, pre-sliced pieces of fudge that you reward yourself with when you get your work done, and more things that help you through the day without any pesky little screw ups. Maybe, after years of experimenting, you’ve finally found just the right dosage and type of medication that works for you. Maybe that dosage is zero mg. Maybe you’ve never gotten the diagnosis but you know something’s up, because you can’t sit through a single work meeting without squirming.
Wherever you are in your journey, I’m proud of you. I hate to tell you though, mastering our ADHD is like laundry, there is always more to be done. Living with adult ADHD requires us to parent ourselves. We fight with ourselves about what decision to make, putting down the video game, and starting that project that we were assigned two months ago but just haven’t gotten around to doing. Patience is hard, listening is harder, and remembering people’s names when they introduce themselves feels impossible.
Now, let’s talk about DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy).This approach doesn’t erase the symptoms of adult ADHD, but it equips us with a broader array of comprehensive tools to manage ourselves in a holistic and sustainable way over the long term. DBT focuses on equipping individuals with practical strategies to create and commit to behaviors that are effective in helping us reach our long term goals. This is usually implemented through skills groups/trainings, individual therapy, and in-the-moment phone coaching. DBT can minimize the downsides of ADHD and maximize its upsides through exploration of four key topics: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness.
Mindfulness: Research shows that mindfulness (the practice of conscious awareness) improves attention by training you to focus on the present moment without judgment and to observe thoughts and emotions without immediately reacting. Mindfulness also enhances self-regulation through increased self-awareness, reduces stress and anxiety which can exacerbate symptoms, and improves executive functioning by enhancing working memory.
Emotion Regulation: ADHD often presents with poor emotional control, which can lead to mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty managing stress. Emotion regulation techniques allow you to understand your emotional states, why they came up, what they need, and how they influence your behavior, leading to more adaptive responses.
Distress Tolerance: People with ADHD may experience heightened sensitivity to stress and difficulty coping with intense emotions. DBT teaches skills for tolerating distress and managing crises effectively, which can help those with ADHD navigate challenging situations without becoming overwhelmed, overstimulated, and burnt out.
Interpersonal Effectiveness: Often, those with ADHD find themselves struggling in social situations. Interpersonal effectiveness skills teach you how to effectively ask for what you need, show up well for others, and maintain independence without denying the support of the people around you. Knowing how to effectively communicate with the people around you is critical in setting yourself up for success.
Living with adult ADHD is hard, but with consistent practice using the right tools and techniques, it can get a lot easier. By incorporating skills learned through DBT such as mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness, adults with ADHD can enhance their ability to manage symptoms and thrive in life.
Seeking support from mental health professionals and building a strong support network can be the next step to success on this journey of self-discovery and growth.
